Dearly
by Minikimii
Summary: Perhaps death would have been your better option.


Hey-o! It's been a shitlong time since I've written anything. A full apology is in order, so simply follow the link at the bottom of the page to find out what's going on.

Disclaimer: I do not mean to imply I have any accurate knowledge of the back story in Radiant Garden between Lea and Isa. This is fanfiction after all.

**SPOILER ALERT FOR KH: BIRTH BY SLEEP.**

* * *

**Dearly**

Dear Lea,  
Axel,

I have decided it would be easiest for me to convey this in a letter separated from real time so that maybe it wouldn't hurt you too much. That is, if we can even feel anymore.

I didn't let this happen when I was talking to you earlier, but… I've thought about this a lot over the past several days and have come to the conclusion that this isn't the same as it was before. You're the one who could always make friends, and I was simply there to accept your advances. I cannot be that anymore. I am not Isa. We aren't the same people we were before. We've shed our names, cast them off into the light. We can't be the same for each other anymore.

Axel, you know how non-confrontational I used to be. There is, perhaps, no excuse for how I've been acting recently save for the fact that everything in this universe is in continuous flux. I have changed, and this change was inevitable.

Why stick around to watch this fall apart? It could be considered selfish of me to just come to this decision without talking to you first, but I felt like I've given you enough cues—both in frequency and obviousness of intent—to know that you and I do not fit anymore.

I've always found that going into denial about someone's existence is the easiest way to let go. Sure, it's not the polite or the optimal way to go if you're trying to avoid hurting someone else. I had invested too much into the friendship, into you, and now I've decided that the safest way to stay intact is to sever ties now and pretend we were never friends. There was never Isa and Lea. Forget everything that happened between us, because from this point on I will.

Perhaps I should apologize for these actions and feelings. Isa would.

But I'm not Isa.

Without remorse,  
Saïx

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

You little fucker,

Basically, I understand now. You don't care about me the same way or as much as I care about you, which is understandable because—to be honest—it never felt like you ever gave a fuck after we became _this_.

"You're the one who could always make friends?" Don't give me that kind of bullshit, Isa! Don't you remember who it was that initiated this friendship in the first place? The palace gardens where I set a fucking bush on fire and you saw the smoke and came to my aid with fountain water before the palace guards had a chance to even fry my ass? And then you helped me cover up and... I didn't initiate this friendship, Isa.

_You_ did.

I really thought we meant something to each other. Hell, I know that you did to me. Even with all my running around, trying to get people to remember me, making friends wherever I went... You were always with me. I wanted you to always be with me. If I hadn't, then I would run off with that Ventus kid we met at the Town Square. I would gone to the palace without you.

I miss you, Isa. I want us back. I'm not stopping until I've convinced you to try.

Lea

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Axel,

This isn't going to work. Stop following me everywhere and asking me to "give it a chance". You're annoying. Perhaps death would have been your better option.

Saïx

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

"Saïx,"

Why can't we stay together, "Saïx"? Why can't we be like Isa and Lea again? Where did you find this hate? Who the fuck cares if we've got these X's added to our names? Who the fuck cares about Kingdom Hearts? Who said we need to become different people? "Xemnas?"

I miss you, Isa. I miss what we had.

Don't you remember the times we spent together? The night by the fountain in the palace gardens when your hand passed over mine on the fountain edge and you leaned over and brushed your lips on the edge of my ear. The quiet splash of fountain water, the hum of the cicadas in the trees around us, the dark sky shining, still full of stars, full of worlds and possibilities. You stood up and laughed when I started to walk away with my ass covered in water, holding my hand even after you told me I was embarrassing.

Don't you remember ever sharing our Sea Salt Ice Cream kisses? Sitting along the high edge of the Fountain Court staircase, watching the blues and purples play around the water, leaning over a bit too far off the edge and falling into the water. You, bent over me, both of us soaked and laughed, kissing and holding each other while we ruined every scarf and neckerchief I ever owned.

Don't you remember the first time we touched? You were so ready for us to be together it made me ache to feel that you wanted me so completely. Body, mind, spirit... Isa, I loved you.

Didn't this ever mean anything to you?

Love,  
Lea

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Axel,

Stop.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Dear Saïx,

I get it. You're tired of dealing with me every day and my presence is now a loathsome one at best. I'm sorry we weren't able to continue. Just know that if there's ever the chance you're willing to be with me again my door is always open to you. Please remember this.

Still, if there's anything you've taught me it's that when you want something, you chase it.

And I don't see any signs of you behind me.

Goodbye,  
Lea

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I don't know Isa's personality, but he's likely got the potential for a volatile streak. How else would the transformation into Saix begin? Sorry it's been so long. Feel free to yell at me in reviews.

Also, my apology: www .youtube. com/ watch?v=NiD3FXk3ZRE

_Je t'aime beaucoup,_  
_Minikimii_


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